HABITS: Make ‘em or Break ‘em Spring 2023

Most of us live habitually already. Most of us just aren’t aware of it.  Wendy Wood, Good Habits, Bad Habits: The Science of Making Positive Changes that Stick. Could the young but realize how soon they will become mere walking bundles of habits, they would give more heed to their conduct while in a plastic […]

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Pursuing and Distancing in Marriage

WE ALL DO IT—AND OUR PARENTS DID IT What do dancing the waltz, military battles, and all marital relationships have in common? They all involve advancing and retreating. They all involve leaning in and pulling back. They all involve pursuing and distancing. All relationships are like a dance. And every marital relationship has a tailored […]

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Unconventionally Wise Words on Being Married

In March 2020, Dan Wile, Ph.D., passed away. Dr. Wile was a thoughtful and gentle psychologist. Yet, he developed a brilliantly clear and innovative model for working with couples to improve their communication, their relationships, and their level of intimacy. Over the past 20 years, I have attended a number of Dan’s seminars and I […]

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Burdens, Backpacking, Yokes, and Resting in Him

During August of 2016 I joined three dear friends on a four day, three night backpacking trip in the Sawtooth National Recreation Area of Idaho. I am a backpacking rookie.  I don’t own a backpack or a lightweight stove.  I’ve gone on two previous backpacking trips—one with a church group when I was in the […]

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Rest and Sabbath

We live in a busy, hyper-kinetic, wired, and overly-connected time that is no longer bound by the clock or the calendar.  There seems to be no significant “dividers” for our days.  One day runs into the next.  Weeks slide into months.  There are few parameters or “fences” that mark the passage of time.  Time is […]

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Listening To And Hearing From God

I am a psychologist.  As a young man I studied psychology as an undergraduate at Seattle Pacific University.  I continued my graduate studies at Colorado State University.   At one institution the Department of Psychology was subsumed under the School of Behavioral Sciences;  at the other, the Psychology Department was housed in the School of Natural […]

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Humility

This summer (2017) my wife (Denise) and I took a two week trip to North Carolina, South Carolina, and Virginia.  We visited with transplanted California friends, member care (caring for Christian cross cultural workers) colleagues, and our son who is serving as a 2nd Lieutenant in the Marine Corp. While on this vacation we stayed […]

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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

A Good Habit (Thought, Impulse) Gone Bad We all have quirky habits. Strange and repetitive things that we do that give us a sense of order, predictability, and safety. But in some cases, these habits are tied to intense feelings of anxiety. These cases include many accounts of those who suffer from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). […]

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Life Lessons in Tile and Concrete

I will never earn a living with my limited construction skills. I have built and repaired a few things and I thankfully I still have all of my fingers. Even so, at my very best, I am only home project hobbist. Through the trial-and-error of home projects I have learned a bit about myself and […]

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Baseball and Life

During the spring and summer seasons, my childhood days were filled with pick-up games of line ball and backyard Whiffle ball. My buddies and I followed the heroics of Willie Mays, Sandy Koufax, Bob Gibson, and Ernie Banks. We traded baseball cards and attached them to our bikes with wooden clothes pins to hear them […]

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