Choices, Choices, Choices

CHOICE DOES NOT ALWAYS INCREASE FREEDOM AND ALL CHOICE IS NOT NECESSARILY GOOD Choices, choices, choices.  Everyday we are faced with innumerable decisions and options.  And we assume–even without much thought, that it is a good thing to have so many choices.  Yet, in this Counseling Newsletter (prompted by my reading of the book, Paradox […]

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Financial Matters and Conflict in Marriage – Part 2

As members of the human race and of American culture, we stereotypically strain against limits and authority. We don’t tolerate having others tell us how to live and what to do. With the close of the 20th century, it seems the few legitimate limits of individual freedoms are quickly eroding (burning of the American flag, […]

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Financial Matters and Marital Conflict – Part 1

Figure it out. Work a lifetime to pay off a house. You finally own it, and there’s nobody to live in it. Once in my life I would like to own something outright before it’s broken! I’m always in a race with the junkyard. I just finished paying for the car and it’s on its […]

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Thoughts on Listening – Part 2

Listen: 1. To apply oneself to hearing something. 2. To pay attention; to give heed. By far the most common and important way in which we can exercise our attention is by listening. We spend an enormous amount of time listening, most of which we waste, because on the whole most of us listen very […]

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Thoughts on the Oppositional and Defiant Behavior of Children and Adolescents: Part Two

In this edition of the Counseling Newsletter, we will take a second look at the topic of oppositional and defiant behavior of children. But unlike the first installment, which described how defiant behavior is developed and maintained, this edition will emphasize strategies for decreasing and managing the disruptive effects of oppositional behavior. By way of […]

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Thoughts on Contentment

Thou has made us for thyself and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in thee. – St. Augustine, The Confessions I have learned to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether […]

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Conflict In Marriage

Many people pursue relationships and enter into marriages in order to have someone with whom they can share their life and dreams. Sadly, marriages that begin with the highest hopes can stagnate and even deteriorate. In my practice, approximately fifty-percent of the clients I see are attempting to work through matters of marital conflict. These […]

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Thoughts on the Art and Discipline of Listening

When you see someone over eager to speak, there will be more hope for a fool than for him. – Prov. 29:20 Like apples of gold in settings of silver, is a word spoken in right circumstances. Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold, is a wise reprover to a listening […]

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Thoughts on Victimhood

VICTIM: one who is harmed by or made to suffer from an act, circumstance, agency or condition. A person who is tricked, swindled, or taken advantage of. We all experience loss and change. Some of these losses are predictable and anticipated. For example, we transition from the warmth of summer to the crisp weather of […]

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Anger and Related Emotions

Current interest and concern about anger, and its behavioral sequelae, seems to be at an all-time high. Through the media we are regularly updated about the problems of anger and violence in our neighborhoods, homes, and workplaces. In contrast, while in training, I was instructed that the most common treatment problems in mental health clinics […]

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